Adolescence is a time of incredible growth and transformation for students and their brains. These years can be both exciting and challenging as teens develop the cognitive and emotional skills that will support them into adulthood. These include executive function (EF) skills; the “life skills” that help us plan, focus, organize, and follow through, and are uniquely important for students with learning differences. 

Understanding how executive function coaching helps teens with learning differences like ADHD thrive at school and home can guide both educators and families in choosing the right supports.

Below, we explore what makes adolescence such a crucial window for brain development and for executive functions, and how parents and educators can use simple, research-informed strategies to help teens thrive in school and in life.

Neurodiversity and Executive Functions

Neurodiversity reminds us that all brains are wired differently—and those differences bring both strengths and challenges. For teens with learning differences, difficulties with EF might show up in multiple settings: missing homework, messy backpacks, or difficulty with time management. But EF challenges aren’t just about schoolwork; they can affect social interactions, dorm life, and self-esteem.

EFs are a network of cognitive processes, including planning, organization, working memory, time management, emotional regulation, and self-reflection, which are primarily based in the brain’s prefrontal cortex. When we view EF struggles through a “deficit” lens, it can be easy to view a struggling teen as “lazy” or “unmotivated.” But when we understand these behaviors as part of a developing system, we open the door to empathy, support, and growth.

Families searching for schools for learning differences are often looking for places that understand these challenges and offer practical tools for success.

Practical, Research-Informed Strategies That Work

1. Spot and Name a Strength

The Why:

Adolescents are forming their identities and looking for evidence of who they are becoming. When adults focus solely on what’s missing (missing homework, forgotten materials, late assignments), it can chip away at motivation. But when we intentionally highlight what’s working, we help teens see their own capacity and potential. This “strengths-based” approach builds resilience and confidence.

The How:

Try “spotting and naming” a strength in the moment. For example, imagine your teen stayed up late finishing a project that they procrastinated on. Instead of saying, “That’s what happens when you wait until the last minute,” try:

• “You showed a lot of persistence—you cared about doing this well, even when it got hard.”

That recognition doesn’t ignore the challenges, but it reinforces the effort and follow-through that are worth celebrating.

Try It:

When your teen shares a story, listen for a hidden strength you can highlight. Maybe it’s curiosity, creativity, or perseverance. Then say it aloud:

• “I noticed you stuck with that even when it got frustrating.”

At Forman, this approach is woven into our executive function coaching model as a school for learning differences, influenced by world-renowned coach Jodi Sleeper-Triplett. Coaches intentionally name student strengths to help them internalize success and build self-belief.

Why It Works:

Neuroscience shows that praise and recognition can activate the brain’s reward system, which reinforces motivation and learning. For adolescents, whose brains are especially sensitive to social and emotional feedback, authentic affirmation is powerful fuel.

2. Shift from Director to Coach

The Why:

Executive functions don’t develop by being told what to do; they grow through guided practice. When adults take over (“Just get it done!”), we remove the opportunity for teens to build their own planning systems.

The How:

Try using coaching questions that guide rather than dictate. For instance:
A teen has a big project due tomorrow, but hasn’t started. Instead of, “Why haven’t you done anything yet? You’re going to fail!” try:

• “That project looks like a lot. What’s your first step?” or “Where could you start?”

These simple shifts turn confrontation into collaboration and mirror the techniques used in executive function coaching for ADHD.

Try It:

Use questions like:

• “What’s your plan for getting started?”

• “What’s one thing you can do right now to move this forward?”

If your teen resists, pause. Sometimes, what looks like defiance is actually overwhelm—they may not know where to start or how to break the task down.

Why It Works:

Coaching questions encourage planning and decision making, processes that engage the prefrontal cortex. Modeling calm problem-solving and scaffolding their thinking helps teens with learning differences develop internal systems for organization and prioritization. Over time, these moments of guided reflection can become internalized habits.

3. Reframe “Stuck” Moments

The Why: 

When teens feel stuck, academically or emotionally, they can slip into a reactive state, saying things like “I can’t do this” or “I’m terrible at this.” Adults often respond with encouragement (“Yes, you can!”) that, while well-intentioned, doesn’t validate their struggle or show them how to move forward.

The How:

Instead of pushing past frustration, name it and invite reflection:

• “I hear you saying this feels hard right now. What’s the tricky part?”

This gentle question encourages students with ADHD or other LDs to move from a defensive state to a reflective one. Once students identify what’s challenging, they can begin problem-solving.

Try It:

Ask:

• “What part feels hardest right now?”

• “What worked last time you felt stuck?”

Approach these moments with what we call compassionate curiosity, genuine interest in understanding, not judgment.

Why It Works:

Reframing “stuck” moments activates metacognition, thinking about one’s own thinking, which is central to building self-regulation and independence. It can lower emotional arousal, which allows the prefrontal cortex to re-engage and make deep learning possible again.

Forman students who participate in executive function strategies from summer camp to the classroom often gain long-lasting tools that promote resilience.

The Bigger Picture

At Forman, we know that when students feel understood, supported, and challenged within reach, they flourish, in the classroom and beyond. Whether through year-round school or summer programs, our focus remains on how to support executive function in neurodivergent teens with empathy and research-informed practices.

This content was originally presented by Chief Cognition and Learning Officer Jenai Fitzpatrick, Associate Head of School Allie Maxwell, and Director of Cognition and Learning Kristin Simmers in a webinar, which you can watch here.